I have been thinking a lot about the fact that most people do nothing with their lives. I mean it.
Most people are content to remain mediocre, to not stand out---shucks--they don't even work hard when pushed to work hard.
I don't know what creates a bottom feeder. I don't know why they exist. I've asked around. I don't yet have a good answer yet.
The good news is that my level of frustration about them has subsided a bit. I have had an epiphany and I think it has changed my life. I decided that everyone has a role to play and people play their part well--for better or worse.
The skill comes in knowing how to deal with people where they are and not where you would like them to be.
It's not enough to ask someone to be a better worker, partner, friend or a better person in general. You must observe people, record your findings about them (making a mental note) and then implement the appropriate "tools" or behaviors, in order to get what you need done and without hurting yourself or others (meaning "them").
The people who are driven crazy the MOST by bottom feeders are usually people who I will classify as the "upper crust."
These people are ambitious, driven to succeed, empathetic individuals who are not content to sit down and watch life pass them by. On the contrary, they want to make something happen. They want to make all of their dreams come true, reach every goal, win EVERY time.
Now, this is not about Good people vs. Bad People. This entry is strictly about those who make things happen vs. those who let things happen.
What's interesting is that sometimes, you cannot tell who is a bottom feeder, right away. This is why it's important to observe what people do. You have to wait to see results. If someone swears they're going to do big things, work really hard and fast to make a plan succeed---you may, at first, assume that this individual is part of the "upper crust." Don't be fooled! If they let the deadlines come and go, if they have only excuses and fail to produce results or they never seem to do things correctly, even after being shown how to do them again and again---YOU HAVE ENCOUNTERED A BOTTOM FEEDER...or maybe the bottom feeder is YOU.
How do you handle a bottom feeder? The answer is: In small doses.
Here's the thing: You can NEVER leave a critical component or the important piece of a project in the hands of a bottom feeder. It's NOT going to get done the way you need it to.
Sure, your bottom feeder has a natural talent but they lack the know-how or the willingness to take their natural talent to its full potential. They can't take their skills beyond the neighborhood---it requires too much and they're just not up for that sort of challenge.
If you need something from a bottom feeder, make sure they're your last resort or ensure that what you need from them can technically be replaced by something else---in the likelihood that they don't come through.
Another thing to remember: NEVER go into partnership or business with a bottom feeder. It won't work out. These people either don't know, don't show or don't care about the details of business (yes, you just got Doughboyed---that just happened, deal with it.)
Before you decide to sign on the dotted line, it's best to "test" your person to see if they have bottom feeder qualities. Ask yourself: 1. Are they always late? 2. Do they make promises but then never come through? 3. Do you find that you argue about the importance of the "hard-work" component of life and business?
If you answered yes to these questions, you're dealing with a bottom feeder and you should refrain from a business partnership with this person---for your own sake and sanity.
If you can help it: NEVER get emotionally vested in a bottom feeder. Are they fine? Do they have a big booty and a smile? Yes, but do they pay their bills or do they always ask you for money? Are they always talking about how "such and such and so and so" hate on them so much or do they describe a world in which they're ALWAYS the victim?
RUN. You are dealing with a bottom feeder. Bottom feeders notoriously blame others for their own shortcomings. They are NOT about to take responsibility for anything...because that requires a level of self awareness which may be painful and unpleasant and bottom feeders rather have fun and what not...
(sighs)
So, ask yourself, are you a bottom feeder? Are you "upper crust?" Are you mad at this blog entry?
I'm only making an observation. I am not an expert in sociology or psychology or any other science of determination and of people.
I only know what I know. What I know...is .....people play their part. I know what part I play. Do you?
-D
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