Oh, Gwyneth! You Silly Girl...

Okay, so I was challenged to write about topics that were given to me by some Facebook Friends.

NO BIG DEAL, right? Well, of course my interesting mix of Facebook Buddies would lay at my feet some of the MOST difficult, thought provoking and controversial topics they could come up with.

This entry's topic comes from my good buddy, Carly Nickerson. Shout out to this lovely wife and mother. I hope that this blog entry is all you hoped it could be!

The Topic: Gwyneth Paltrow's Infamous Tweet:
 ("N------s in Paris for real!")<<<--- loosely quoting the tweet.


Gwyneth has everyone going crazy, right now. So many Entertainment News sources have been carrying this story. So many people have had discussions, even up to heated arguments about this little ol' tweet from a dainty celebrity.

Here's the first half of my thoughts on the issue:

You know what came to mind, when I heard about this story?: There's no such thing as BAD publicity.

Isn't that Hollywood 101?  I don't think that Gwyneth had any malicious intent. I DO, however, think she knew exactly what she was doing, though.  You know why I feel that way? Because, Gwyneth is a White, United States American, Woman, that's why. She knows the power of THAT word. C'mon. You know it's true.

She totally tweeted that message to get SOME sort of reaction. Isn't she currently working on Iron Man 3? I'm just sayin....

I will say, though, that SOME white people truly think that they TOTALLY have "provisional black card" privileges because they have "black friends." I know PLENTY of white people who confuse being around black people who say THAT word in FRONT of them with having the right to use the word themselves.

Now, I don't know about YOU...but to ME, Gwyneth strikes me as one of those "white ladies" who only has like one REALLY good black friend---maybe. I don't know her personally, obviously. But I would  say that the black folks she went to Paris with are the extent of her venture into blackpeopledom.

So, with all of those things considered, I think Gwyneth was out of line...but I feel she knew she would be and she took a calculated risk ---for the publicity. I mean, she has nearly 1 million Twitter followers. She knew SOMEONE could potentially get offended.

Onto the second side of my thoughts on this "tweet-paux"

Non-black people get set up, all the time, by this stupid word. The situation was DEFINITELY a set-up in this instance because the artists knew what they were doing when they NAMED THE ALBUM.  

You know how I know that? Because Jay-Z and Kanye are Black, United States American, Men, that's why. THEY totally know the power of THAT word. C'mon. You know it's true.

They also know that they are cross-over artists and that the majority of their fan base are DIE HARD fans. Meaning, they know every word and they RECITE every word---out loud...with passion.

Therefore, if you put 100 n-words in your 3 minute song, you're fully aware that you're creating a verbal landmine for your fans. Even if the average fan was generally great at self-censure, they're gonna slip up at least one time.

I also feel there's a terrible double standard about the word. I mean, rightfully so. Our history with the word makes it a sore reality from both sides. "We" use it and "They" use it...but they better not get caught using it...or else. Yeah, that's the double standard.

Black people are constantly making up arbitrary rules for when and how the word can or cannot be used and for when we will and will not be offended. Shucks, I'm BLACK and even I get confused sometimes.

Of course, hands down--if you say the word, with the "er" on it, while you're angry, out loud, to my face, trying to hurt me...you're a racist. That's the baseline...but what about all those other "gray area" usages? Is reciting a lyric okay? Is using the title of a song as a sentence not okay?

I blame the artists on this one. They WANTED the publicity and the controversy. Please believe it. They could have named their song anything but they chose to name it "N----s in Paris."

Evil geniuses, that's what they are....in THIS case.

Bottom line: I still like Gwyneth. I still find her dainty and sweet...and reaaally, reaaaallly white. *smile* Life goes on.

The Upper Crust vs. The Bottom Feeders

I have been thinking a lot about the fact that most people do nothing with their lives. I mean it.


Most people are content to remain mediocre, to not stand out---shucks--they don't even work hard when pushed to work hard.

 They LITERALLY resist any force exerted upon them to make them "better." I've decided to call these people "bottom feeders."

I don't know what creates a bottom feeder. I don't know why they exist. I've asked around. I don't yet have a good answer yet.

The good news is that my level of frustration about them has subsided a bit. I have had an epiphany and I think it has changed my life. I decided that everyone has a role to play and people play their part well--for better or worse.

The skill comes in knowing how to deal with people where they are and not where you would like them to be.

It's not enough to ask someone to be a better worker, partner, friend or a better person in general. You must observe people, record your findings about them (making a mental note) and then implement the appropriate "tools" or behaviors, in order to get what you need done and without hurting yourself or others (meaning "them").

The people who are driven crazy the MOST by bottom feeders are usually people who I will classify as the "upper crust."

These people are ambitious, driven to succeed, empathetic individuals who are not content to sit down and watch life pass them by. On the contrary, they want to make something happen. They want to make all of their dreams come true, reach every goal, win EVERY time.

Now, this is not about Good people vs. Bad People. This entry is strictly about those who make things happen vs. those who let things happen.

What's interesting is that sometimes, you cannot tell who is a bottom feeder, right away. This is why it's important to observe what people do. You have to wait to see results. If someone swears they're going to do big things, work really hard and fast to make a plan succeed---you may, at first, assume that this individual is part of the "upper crust." Don't be fooled! If they let the deadlines come and go, if they have only excuses and fail to produce results or they never seem to do things correctly, even after being shown how to do them again and again---YOU HAVE ENCOUNTERED A BOTTOM FEEDER...or maybe the bottom feeder is YOU.

How do you handle a bottom feeder? The answer is: In small doses.

Here's the thing: You can NEVER leave a critical component or the important piece of a project in the hands of a bottom feeder. It's NOT going to get done the way you need it to.

Sure, your bottom feeder has a natural talent but they lack the know-how or the willingness to take their natural talent to its full potential. They can't take their skills beyond the neighborhood---it requires too much and they're just not up for that sort of challenge.

If you need something from a bottom feeder, make sure they're your last resort or ensure that what you need from them can technically be replaced by something else---in the likelihood that they don't come through.

Another thing to remember: NEVER go into partnership or business with a bottom feeder. It won't work out. These people either don't know, don't show or don't care about the details of business (yes, you just got Doughboyed---that just happened, deal with it.)

Before you decide to sign on the dotted line, it's best to "test" your person to see if they have bottom feeder qualities. Ask yourself: 1. Are they always late? 2. Do they make promises but then never come through? 3. Do you find that you argue about the importance of the "hard-work" component of life and business? 

If you answered yes to these questions, you're dealing with a bottom feeder and you should refrain from a business partnership with this person---for your own sake and sanity.

If you can help it: NEVER get emotionally vested in a bottom feeder. Are they fine? Do they have a big booty and a smile? Yes, but do they pay their bills or do they always ask you for money? Are they always talking about how "such and such and so and so" hate on them so much or do they describe a world in which they're ALWAYS the victim?

RUN. You are dealing with a bottom feeder. Bottom feeders notoriously blame others for their own shortcomings. They are NOT about to take responsibility for anything...because that requires a level of self awareness which may be painful and unpleasant and bottom feeders rather have fun and what not...

(sighs)

So, ask yourself, are you a bottom feeder? Are you "upper crust?" Are you mad at this blog entry?

I'm only making an observation. I am not an expert in sociology or psychology or any other science of determination and of people.

I only know what I know. What I know...is .....people play their part. I know what part I play. Do you?

-D